Thursday, June 30, 2011

Movie Review: Dark Wolf

 According to IMDB,  $2,500,000 was spent making this thing.  What a freaking waste.

 The premise has some promise.  It is a modern day werewolf story with its own mythology.  The film opens on a modern city, were something is running through the streets at night.  We end up at a strip-club where several attractive, topless women are plying their craft when suddenly the front door bursts right off the hinges and a big biker dude runs in followed by three cops.  After a bit of chaos, the biker dude is subdued and arrested, but not before he glares at his captors through eyes that glow a crimson red.   

 I thought when I saw Stephen Williams in the film that their might be some hope, but no, he dies in the very next scene.  The biker dude is tossed into a paddy wagon.  The entire truck starts to shake, and the prisoner, transformed into one of the cheesiest werewolves in movie history, rips through the steel wall between the back of the truck and the cab, killing the driver and Williams.  Then, a cartoonish CGI wolf bursts out the back of the wagon and makes a break for it.  Williams, who I think I saw credited as "Token", was the only black character making an appearance in the entire film.

 After the escape, the studly young white detective takes the rookie female officer back to the station and explains to her that he and his now deceased partner are the city's special unit for handling werewolves.  Werewolves and humans have co-existed for centuries, but the pure-breed werewolves are at war with human-werewolf hybrids.  The hybrids are more dangerous and more inclined toward dominating humanity.  The hot young rookie, having trouble believing what her new partner is saying despite seeing the beast rip out of a police truck first hand, decides to aide him in his hunt anyway.  They go to a local diner to meet with a werewolf contact on the streets.

 At the diner works Josie, who, unbeknownst to her, is the latest Matriarch of the pure-breed werewolves.  A homeless woman in the alley behind the diner is her protector, and comes from a line of protectors that have been around for centuries.  The young detective, Steve Turley, seeks the protector, Mary, for the word on what is going on.  Mary explains to the detective that she is guarding the Matriarch, and that the werewolf he is hunting is the "Dark Wolf", a super-werewolf that can only be killed with silver through the eye.  The "Dark Wolf's" mission in life is to mate with the Matriarch, thus ending the pure-breed line and dominating all werewolves, with humanity next on the agenda.  Mary explains that the Matriarch must go through her initial change, then must read an old grimoire which explains what it is to be a werewolf.  To make things even more complicated, whom ever the Matriarch touches will be marked by her, and the Dark Wolf will scent the mark and kill whoever has it.

 The female officer, McGowan, accidentally bumps into Josie in the bathroom.  While McGowan is doing her hair, the Dark Wolf attacks her through the window and takes a chunk out of her throat.  Turley goes to investigate, during which time the Dark Wolf attacks Mary, mortally wounding her.  Back in the alley, Mary tells Turley with her dieing breath that Josie is the Matriarch, and that he must protect her.  Turley grabs Josie while her friend and boyfriend protest and they take off.  Josie's friend, Stacey, finds the book and leaves with Josie's boyfriend to go to Stacey's photographer boyfriend's house.

 Turley does his best to explain what is going on to Josie, who has been experiencing mild transformations (like the glowing eyes) and having werewolf hallucinations, so she is not altogether surprised by the revelation. In Turley's bathroom, Josie rips off her blouse (she does this several times throughout the film, yet the blouse is miraculously in wearable condition) and she begins to wolf-out.  Turley finds her in his tub, hands all clawed and hairy, but she reverts to human form and puts on her top before her breasts are exposed to the camera.
 Meanwhile, McGowan is in the hospital and it appears that she will recover.  Unfortunately, the Dark Wolf is hiding in the shadows of what in the real-world would have been a well-lit hospital room.  He rips McGowan apart, the leaves.

 Turley tells Josie a series of awful werewolf jokes, which despite being terrible are the highlight of the script.  He then gets a call informing him that McGowan is dead.  Turley and Josie go to the hospital, and Turley finds McGowans tattered  remains in a room being guarded by an officer... but with no other police activity.  Turley then remembers Mary telling him that anyone Josie touched would be a target for the Dark Wolf, and Josie explains that she touched her friend, Stacey.  They leave for Stacey's boyfriend's place.

 Stacey's boyfriend is taking pictures of a topless model when Stacey and Josie's boyfriend arrive.  Miguel, the effeminate make-up artist, finds the werewolf book in Stacey's belongings, and after reviewing the illustrations has and idea to put Stacey and the model in full-body make-up and shoot them on the roof in the full moon light.  More boobage and some girl-on-girl action ensues, while Josie's boyfriend gets himself locked-out of the building in the alley and ends up the Dark Wolf's next mangled victim.  After the hot shoot, Stacey's boyfriend goes to develop the film in his darkroom, the girls go looking for Josie's boyfriend, and Miguel goes to take a shit.  

 There is a knock at the door, Miguel pinches it off and wipes, then goes to answer it.  At the door is biker-dude, completely nude (because werewolves who transform from wolf to human find clothes inconvenient) except for his bandana (which makes no sense).  Biker dude, looking for Josie, proceeds to toss Miguel around like a rag-doll, then wolfs-out to finish him off.  The girls find Stacey's boyfriend in the darkroom, and when the three get back to the studio-apartment, they find the place trashed, Miguel dead, and the Dark Wolf attacks, killing the extraneous female actress.  Stacey and her boyfriend make a break for the alley and end up trapped in a warehouse elevator.

 Turley and Josie arrive at Stacey's boyfriend's, and find the mess and the book.  Josie does a ridiculously low-budget CGI transformation into a different nude actress with werewolf make-up, and chases Turley around the room until he figures out the she must be placed in the full-moon light to recover from her transformation.

 As an aside, this film spent most of its money on Stephen Williams, low-end CGI, and paying about a dozen young women to be topless or nearly completely nude for extended periods of time.  Yet, their lead female, Samaire Armstrong, is not even topless once in this film.  There is always one actress in these films not willing to be nude on camera, and it is a distraction.  Armstrong's acting did not help this film one iota.  They should have found someone willing to be nude in a role that frequently left the lead female completely naked or in shredded clothing.  Because I find this kind of thing irritating, her is her brief nude images from It's a Boy Thing.


Stacey calls Josie at her boyfriend's home phone, and tells Turley where they are.  They decide to meet Turley and Josie at the warehouse, making a break for their car.  Stacey and her boyfriend make it to the car, but not before the Dark Wolf attacks the vehicle while Turley struggles to start the car again.

 Question: if the plan was to pull the car up, have these two kids jump in the back-seat, and then haul ass, why did the police officer and experienced werewolf-hunter decide to shut-off the engine?

 They race off to the police station were Turley order the three into a bomb-shelter in the basement of the building, but instead of doing the smart-thing, Josie decides to make her stand.  "No one else will die because of me", she swears to Turley and her friends.

 The Dark Wolf attacks the station and proceeds to kill every cop on duty.  

 When the Dark Wolf finally gets Josie, after both she and Turley spend several minutes staring down the beast over the end of their silver-bullet firing pistols without taking a shot, he decides to take his time with ravishing her.  After all, I suppose, it has been rush-rush-rush all night long tracking her down and killing people... this is quality time!  This gives Turley enough time to toss Josie a pistol, and for Josie to finally put a silver-bullet in the Dark Wolf's eye, apparently killing it.  

 The next day, Turley and Josie say their good-byes... its standard police procedure to allow key-witnesses leave town after a maniac racks-up a huge body count trying to get laid.  The film closes on the human corpse of the Dark Wolf, who's other eye opens and glows a crimson red.

 The gratuitous T'n'A is the only redeeming aspect of this film.  The acting is over-done, the characters are all shallow, the special effects are second or even third rate... Honestly, I bought this film because it was a 4 for $10 special and they had nothing else that I either did not already have or that interested me.  You might be tempted to watch this film for the boobage, but you will be better served with internet porn.



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