Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Movie Review: Bloodrayne

  Bloodrayne has one, and only one, redeeming aspect.  Kristanna Loken, who plays the title character, performs an amazing sex-scene.  Other than that, the film is garbage, which is unfortunate considering the list of stars involved; Loken (Terminator 3), Michael Madsen (Reservoir Dogs), Udo Kier (Blade), Meatloaf (Fight Club), Michelle Rodriguez (Avatar), Ben Kingsley (Schindler's List)... and others.  It is not a matter of acting, it is all to blame on the story, production, and special effects. 
 Ben Kingsley, despite his acting prowess, does not have the physical stature to fulfill his role in this film; the vampire antagonist.  The special effects, especially the swords (why are they so SHINY?) are nothing but a distraction.  You can tell that the actors are doing the best they can with the script, which plods along, trying to provide as much of the back story as possible while also engaging the viewer in the film's story itself.  As for being a horror-film, Bloodrayne is one of those "horror-by-default" flics.  It is a story about vampires, but the vampires are either heroes or villains, and not all that horrific. 

 Given the many problems with the film, I am just going to focus on the one scene, the sex scene.  Kristanna Loken, as Rayne, is in a prison-cell being watched over by a young and naive, but handsome guard.  She is not a prisoner, so the door is unlocked.  Once outside, she maneuvers the guard against the cell-door, takes off her bottoms and during their heated petting reveals her breasts.  She then climbs on the cell-door with the guard between her and the bars and mounts him, pounding against the cage to orgasm.  A chair is conveniently placed between the camera and her ass for the far-shot. 

 Afterward, it is like the two never knew each other.  In guy-world, that is exactly how you would want it to go down, but for the story it was pointless... welcome, but pointless.

 I am fairly certain that the scene I am referring to can be found on the Internet.  There is no need to see the rest of the film.  What's worse is there are sequels to this thing.


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